


break you down

by orphan_account



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Agender Character, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bonding, Gen, Trans Dipper Pines, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2015-07-08
Packaged: 2018-04-08 06:35:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4294440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bill places a hand on Dipper's shoulder. "In my dimension," he says, "there are fourteen billion different genders. I identify as none of them! Gender is useless and unnecessary. For me, I mean. I know it's not for you."</p>
<p>(Dipper and Bill bond reluctantly over the one thing they have in common - being trans.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	break you down

Dipper rubs his eyes, and when he opens them, his entire bedroom is devoid of color - completely gray, surrounded by thick, dark mist.

 

_Great._

 

He's had a  _long_ day. He has almost  _died,_ for God's sake, fighting some monster that tried to hurt his sister, and the absolute  _last_ thing that he needs is a visit from Bill Cipher. (He knows immediately.)

 

He curls around his journal protectively.

 

"Hey," Bill's voice  _booms_ through the room,  _vibrates_ through Dipper's ears, deafens him. "How have you been?"

 

"What do you want, Bill?" Dipper growls. "Let me guess, my journal, right?"

 

"Relax!" Bill says. "I came to check on you. I saw what an...  _interesting_ day you've had." _  
_

 

Dipper thinks about it. 

 

He thinks about saving Mabel from a vicious, evil thing, he thinks about saving her and he thinks about... 

 

He thinks about sitting down with her, telling her  _I've always been a boy._ He thinks about Mabel taking his hand and telling her how much she  _supports_ him, and that she's never really felt like a girl, either, but didn't have a word that described her yet. He thinks about the conversation that they had in the woods before the attack. _  
_

 

"What did you see?" Dipper swallows.

 

"I saw you fighting that thing. You were great! I was actually  _cheering_ for you! Kind of disappointed that you only came out of it with a few scratches, though."

 

"You're m-messed up," Dipper says, and swallows. Bill doesn't know. Bill  _doesn't know._ Dipper doesn't know what would happen if Bill found out, but thoughts run through his head. Bill would make fun of him. Bill would  _tell someone._ Bill would scold him, and tell him that he's a girl,  _really a girl_ and force him to do something, force him to be something that he's  _not_ and  _never has been._

 

"Sure I am! But the real reason for my visit, kiddo, is that I simply wanted to talk to you. I'll leave the destruction of your journal for another time. You fighting the monster, while incredibly impressive, wasn't all that I saw."

 

Dipper panics.  _Oh, God. Bill knows. Bill knows and he's going to tell someone and he's going to hurt me and he's gonna... he's gonna do_ something.  _He's a demon, he doesn't understand, how could he understand? This can't be happening._

 

"P-please," Dipper breathes, "I can explain, I'm -"

 

"I understand what that feels like," Bill says.

 

_What?_

 

"What? W-what do you mean?"

 

Bill places a hand on Dipper's shoulder. "In my dimension," he says, "there are fourteen billion different genders. I identify as none of them! Gender is useless and unnecessary. For me, I mean. I know it's not for you."

 

Dipper doesn't know what he's hearing. "So... you... you don't have one? Like, at all? How?"

 

"I don't know!" Bill shouts. "I just  _don't._ But there's a word for that here - it's called  _non-binary._ It's funny how people come up with words for things like this! There's a word for  _everything,_ nowadays." _  
_

 

Non-binary. Non- _binary._ Dipper makes a mental note to research this later.

 

"So, let me get this straight," Dipper frowns, "you invaded my mind just to tell me - what, that you think you understand what I'm going through? You don't."  
  


 

"You're right," Bill says. "I don't. I just wanted to tell you that if you ever have any questions, you can talk to me!"

 

"Why would I want to talk to you? Remember when you, like, embedded forks into my arm and stuff?"

 

"Yeah, yeah. Don't get so hung up on that."

 

"Forgive me if I have trouble ever letting that go."

 

"You're just like everyone else, Bill," Dipper says. "You hurt me, and you don't apologize for it."

 

"That's because I feel no remorse," Bill replies. "You should know that by now. But you know what? I'm trying to be helpful here. I'm trying to tell you that this time, I'm on  _your_ side. And you're not alone."

 

"Thanks," Dipper spits. It's sarcasm, but there's a hint of sincerity hidden deep inside.

 

Knowing that Bill is like him makes Dipper feel  _better,_ somehow. 

 

"Can I get back to writing now?"

 

"Yeah," Bill says, "I guess. But know this - I'll be watching, and if  _anyone_ tries to hurt you over this, I'll find a way to  _destroy_ them." _  
_

 

"You really don't have to do that," Dipper says, and adds quickly, without thinking, a genuine,  _but thank you._ _  
_

 

The color in the room fades back to normal.

 

He stays up all night researching the term  _non-binary,_ and when he tells Mabel about it the next morning, her face  _lights up._

 

Maybe, Dipper decides,  _sometimes,_ Bill isn't that bad.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I guess the fourteen billion genders thing is canon because it's from Bill's AMA. [shrugs]
> 
> Anyway, I cry a lot over trans Dipper and agender Bill bonding. I cry everyday. Oh my god, do I cry. I cry all the time.
> 
> (I'm agender btw.)


End file.
